I need you
by AlphonseLuverNumber1
Summary: Short, depressing fluffy oneshot. Roy destroys himself in the days following Hughes' funeral, and who else to find him in this slump than Havoc? Warnings: Yaoi(MalexMale,) mentions of alcohol and self harm. Roy/Havoc, mentions of Roy/Hughes. Rated T just to be safe.


A/N: So! Random motivation and want to type on a keyboard led me to writing this while I should be writing Evil Exes. Excuse its shittiness, there was only one draft and I wrote it completely off the top of my head, may have missed correcting a few misspellings or errors. So I present to you the baby of my tired brain, a plotless, depressing one shot. Enjoy~

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The glass hit the wall with a loud shatter, the shards flying and the dark liquid inside- what was left of it,- splattered over the plaster and momentarily stained the otherwise light color. The culprit of the flying bottle mishap couldn't pay attention to the haphazard of a mess left behind, or the sickening crunch of glass as his knees fell on top of the wreckage. All he could hear was the far-too-loud ringing in his ears, all he could see were wet blotches of color beyond the tears clouding his eyes, and all he could feel was the never-ending trembling in his hands. He couldn't hold his body still, the involuntary shaking took hostage of his muscles and caused spasms, the flashing memory of the burning flames melting flesh melting right off the bone overran his mind. He pushed away the thoughts of wondering what it would feel like... the temptation of finding out. He couldn't hear his own scream as he hunched over, shaggy black locks astray due to trying to force the single strands out of his scalp's hold fell into his face. The darkest navy blue you'd think it was black, shadowed by dangling bangs and obscured by tears he almost didn't want to blink away. It only made the tears stream down his face, the feeling of weakness as the single drops became numbered and reddened his eyes, dampened his cheeks.  
He blindly reached for another of the empty bottles that populated the better half of his desk, with all the strength he could he hurled it again at the wall and watched it shatter. Just like himself, shattering. Another three bottles followed until the man just fell back over in the wreckage, clenching his sides and screaming again. The once baby blue button-down he favored had been stained with whisky, torn open halfway and buttons gone missing, even burnt in a place or two. His gloves discarded somewhere across the room, same for his jacket he'd ripped off and boots he'd angrily kicked away at the door. His uniform hat left somewhere in between the first and second time he'd blacked out today.

_Roy wasn't taking Hughes' departure well._

Slowly, a wooden door creaked open to let in a faint light, the sound being the only one that old building had heard in hours. Even the colonel's cries had silenced as he lay on his back in a pile of broken glass, alcohol and tears. In his drunken-sleep declined state of mind, what stood before him wasn't what he saw. His head lazily turned to the side and through tears all he could see was that head of short black hair, that chinful of stubble and those striking eyes that had always a special kind of sparkle to them. The form in the door frame didn't dare move as the man collected what was left of his nerves to pick himself up off the floor and rush over to throw his arms over the other man. As he squeezed him tight and released his pain and suffering in the form of feebly crying into his shoulder, the man he embraced wrapped one arm around him, the other hand running as soothing as it could through locks of black. "Hu-Hughes..." Roy choked into the military uniform of his friend, arms shaking as they tried to hold the man closer. "I love you..."  
"... I love you, too..." Came the reply, just heard over the sound of his own crying. What he couldn't see was the short-cut blond hair, the sadness in blue eyes and the expression over the face of his friend that didn't have the heart to tell him he wasn't who he thought. So he played along to comfort his commanding officer, forcing away the sinking in his own heart every time the older would sob into his shoulder and cry out the name of his best friend.

Birds chirping, sun shining... that god damned window was currently the bane of Roy's existence. He'd just woken but a few moments ago, head pounding and eyes sore, desperately seeking to return to sleep. However, the open blinds across the room, accompanied by the open window that was actually letting inside a rather pleasant cool breeze, was proving it difficult to find peaceful slumber once more. With an exasperated sigh, he gave in, forcing his eyes the rest of the way open as he glanced to his alarm clock sitting on the bedside table, the hands ticking away to around eleven in the morning. He honestly expected to sleep in a lot later after such a chaotic last two days, the only proper sleep he'd earned being the blackouts between every bottle or so of Scotch. Regretting instantly after he sat up, he could swear he felt the mush left of his brain swimming around inside his head, which he grasped roughly and grunted of pain. He almost didn't hear the voice that appeared out of almost nowhere.  
"Rough night last night, eh?" Dark blue eyes snapped up to the doorway, finding inside the smiling form of his subordinate, Havoc, holding a small tray with a bowl of soup, drink of water and several pills,- hopefully something to kill the ache in his head. "Ha-Havoc? What are you doing here?" Roy stumbled for words as his friend walked over and set down the tray on the bed, the contents of the bowl looking more than tempting. Apparently he hadn't eaten in a while. "No one's heard from you since the funeral three days ago... I was sent to check up on you. I came in last night, and... hell, you were in such a wreck. I just stayed because... well, you had me worried." The blond admitted, sitting down on the end of the bed as his boss had already snatched up the tray, spoon in hand. His subordinate's words made him freeze though, pausing to think over whatever he could remember of the past few days. "But-... last night, I... Hughes..." He choked over words, tears he desperately wanted to force away threatened his eyes as he thought over what he didn't want to think was just a dream he had of Hughes walking in last night... he... told him he loved him...  
The colonel almost jumped when the bed next to him sunk down and an arm wrapped around his back, unable to resist the temptation of leaning in to the offered comfort. "... Jean...?" The deep baritone of the raven haired man finally cut through the burning silence, blue eyes blinking down at him. "Why... why so worried, about me?" He finally asked, sharing glances with the other. The serious look he was given was almost unlike his usually dopey friend, a cigarette tucked behind his ear he was surprised to see wasn't between his lips. "You're my friend, Roy. Don't I have a right to worry...?" He answered, brushing back a few stray locks of hair hiding away those painfully dark eyes.

"Is that the only reason?" He pressed, leaning in as if to call the other's bluff. Remembering the last night... the lack of hesitance in the way he spoke to him... pretending to be that drunken delusion. There was more to that. There had to be. And his answer was right in the smile he received, an amused chuckle from the smoker that... almost made him happy to hear. "No." Was the simple answer, and before either man knew what they were doing... lips touched. Maybe Roy was crazy, maybe he was just missing Hughes... the way he used to kiss him like that... or maybe there was just something about Havoc making him want to smile. Right then he didn't care. "_I need you_."

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A/N: I'd love to know what you think! Go ahead and tell me my mind comes up with shitty oneshots when it hasn't received sleep 12 hours after it should've. xD

Reviews are appreciated~


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